16 Reasons Not To Read The Dolphins View

1. You write nature ads showing how oil companies protect the environment.
2. You're a dog or a cat and you think people are smart.
3. You don't think U.S. dependence on foreign oil supports terrorists.
4. You think dolphins want to have sex with you (maybe they do).
5. You think captive dolphins are free.
6. You're a scientist who dismisses ancedotes about animal behavior.
7. You think pig farms fertilize the sea.
8. You think Gale Norton is sexy.
9. You live in Japan and you think it's OK to slaughter dolphins and eat them.
10. You like the smell of a buffalo.
11. You work for an oil company and you think it's OK to slime animals.
12. You're a priest or a politican.
13. You think it's OK for taxpayers or people with asthma to pay the cost of your company's pollution.
14. You think dolphins are docile and friendly because they smile at you.
15. You belong to a cult and your politics are way left or way right and you think its OK to use violence instead of persuasion to achieve your goal.
16. You're a dweep and you don't like the idea that part of the profits from "The Dolphins' View" will benefit dolphins.